High Control Groups

According to Krystal Shipps, LPC, PLPC, in Psychotherapy Network, a high demand, high control religion requires the following:

1.      Fierce loyalty to members

2.      Obedience without questioning authority figures

3.       An “us versus them” mentality where outsiders are not trusted

4.      Extreme, black-and-white thinking

5.      Suppressing individuality for the sake of securing a place in the group

High control religious groups are often led by one charismatic leader. Sometimes the leader creates a tightly controlled leadership team to reinforce the rules.

People don’t typically wake up and decide to join a high control group. Your initial experiences with the group are typically positive. You experience a flood of attention, affirmation, and promises that you belong. It feels so great to be seen, wanted, and pursued! This is especially appealing if you’ve recently experienced a major life transition such as moving, going to school, ending a significant relationship, or surviving a traumatic event. So, when your intuition whispers, “Something’s off about this,” you ignore. The leaders are confident; they promise simple solutions to your loneliness, confusion, guilt, shame, or sense of unworthiness. And if you challenge them, you are met with a thought-terminating cliché, a term created by Robert Jay Lifton (Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, 1961). The thought-terminating cliché is designed to distract, discourage critical thinking, and shut down the conversation. Here are some examples below:

“Stick to the facts, feelings are fickle.”

“Lean not unto your own understanding.”

“Trust your leaders because they’ve been appointed by God.”

If you’re still reading this and wondering whether or not you’re in a high control religious group, ask yourself the following questions:

1.      Do former friends and family members call your church/organization a cult?

2.      Does the amount of time you spend with the group cause problems in other areas of your life such as work, health, finances, or relationships with outsiders?

3.      Are all of your friends or important relationships also members of your church/organization?

4.      Do you volunteer or give financially past your limits but feel guilty telling your leaders no?

5.      Do you struggle making decisions for yourself without seeking approval or opinions from key leaders?

I would love to support you as you navigate transitioning out of a high control group. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and time to rebuild a safe, healthy support system and unlearn destructive messages that you picked up along the way.